I feel like I am alone again, and it's haunting me tonight. I can't sleep and it's 4:30AM, soon to be my last day in Paris and I don't know where we will be sleeping tomorr ow night. But that's not what's keeping me awake. It's anxiousness, not real anxiety, but some sort of fear to take the next step.
My real journey starts on Thursday when we head to Antwerp, a city where I know no one but my trusty travel companions. Yes they are trusty so the fear is not with them, but with a universal loneliness.
Tonight I think if there was something or someone to make me go back, I would go if only to take away this restlessness. I have a journey and I keep to my word, but why keep to your word when you are only testing yourself? Who is going to catch you in a lie when it is you who is lying to yourself?
So again, what is pushing me this way or that way? I am loving this intense freedom that is dizzying me all day long. Decisions are easy. Imagine if I had responsibilities. But I don't.
"Enjoy this trip, and get lost" but what if I can't be found again?
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1 comment:
You'll be OK. Good luck with the travel i can't wait to hear all about it.
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