Leaving 223 13th street again

It's permanent. I'm actually doing something permanent, not in the usual sense. I fear the permanent, the static; it's a lot of adulthood to deal with. But this move is me letting go again, getting to a healthy point. I'll have new responsibilities on my plate, but no longer a landlord, I ain't no slumlord. I've been waiting and hoping for this moment for almost a year, a smile should be creeping over my face. I'm complacent.

Welcome to my apartment. I hope you enjoy it and wear it well like I did. I'm packing up almost any remnant of my experience and throwing out a lot of things I never thought I'd part with. It's better this way, live with less, grow in new surroundings.

Not poetic, methodical. I'm amazed by my friends who travel and leap from one place to the other, and I wish I could do it more. I miss you all right now: Luke, Lauren, Aurora, Connie, Janna, Amanda, Alex, Laura (both of you), Melissa (all of you), and time escapes me. I love reading your blogs, Lauren and I miss you a lot. I hope I see you all soon. Oh I will. I'm making this plan to do everything I can to be the friend I miss (don't be confused).

I was supposed to go to DC this weekend but packing takes precedence, so I'm in Brooklyn. I want to be done with this, I'm lazy yet determined yet thoughtful, how does this work? Sorry all, this is my babbling, I'm leaving my home drivel. There must be some morsel of intrigue in this entry. Do keep reading, though.

I care about you.

A cat comes into my room and my hunger is stifled briefly. I breathe deeply, look longingly at my notebook for respite, nothing there. Blank pages abound, I am on a mission. I will return.

Countdown to Philly

On Friday night I'm heading on that Chinatown bus back down to Philly and you should come with me. I'm couchsurfing with Teresa, home of many comfortable couches and the most welcoming host I've met. We met at a UPenn college party where I taught Ross how to ride a bike.

Saturday night is the show that we worked very hard getting for Worst Case Ontario on their way back from playing the Launch Festival in Lancaster, PA. It's going to be at the Khyber in Old City, so please stop by if you are in the city that night.

Vacation will be such a sweet respite from a challenging week, another challenging week. No boyfriend on this trip, just girls, my band and Ross. Sometimes the bus relaxes me, so familiar. I know the right moment to call to say "I'm in town, when are you free?" I go through my phone and see who is philly, not like Facebook or CouchSurfing, but my own personal locator. I organize chat lists like this (by location). I have friends all over the world, even if their locations change, this method satisfies me.

Once I get into town, I walk through the city from one end to the other. Why oh why can't there be a good transit system? It's okay, I'd rather walk. I have a favorite bookstore and many restaurants and coffeehouses that I have yet to try. It's a liveable, comfortable city that I have been a frequent visitor of (used to call it my 2nd home city) since I met Ross and his friends in 2003.

I'm looking forward.

CS 101

Love everyone you meet. Explore universal ideas. Make friends with someone in every part of the world. 

From Bastien: "meet up with friends' friends so you have news to share."

Stay awake as long as you can. You don't want to miss a moment.

Always visit.

I miss couchsurfing, a lot. I'm going to travel this summer and there's nothing that can stop me. I recently told my co-workers about my penchant for cheap travel. They were interested and excited to have me as a resource. I can look forward which is really important. I look forward to new places and people and sharing everything I've got.

UPDATE

Let's go for a massive update. I am so sorry for not writing in six months. It's been hectic, boring, poor and some other adjectives that I really don't care to mention. I have barely traveled which is very sad. However, I went down to DC and Philly as per usual and have had wonderful experiences there. In the next two weekends (outside of this one) I will be heading to both cities and my first weekend back I will be in NYC celebrating Eric's birthday.

I have a job now, writing about wed sites. I have a boyfriend now, that's Eric, yeah. I'm going to start writing now. I promise.

My friend Mandy just moved to South Korea and she seems to be having the best time. I'd really like to go there, as I would most places. But I'd especially like to explore Asia (in general), which sounds crazy. I know it's a whole continent, but I've really only been to two continents. Europe is beautiful too of course and I want to return oh so badly. With this new job, I am paying off my debt and saving with cheap rent at a house nearby.

This time in my life right now is going to make me understand why I came back, what I had left to give to NYC. Cliches avoided, I am biding my time here, waiting for another chance to leave. That's not fair but I can't help wanting to see it all.

Faithful

Travel in the US is, well, very different. I'm all beached out, New Jersey-ed out, or even New Jersey beach-ed out. I have gone non-stop since I left DC again, which is good, bad, and exhausting. I felt like I was in limbo with intense ups and downs in my hometown. You remember what it's like in familiar geography but sights and sound have changed. No original radio stations remain from high school days, no associations with those close friends from the past, it colors everything I've seen there. New experiences in this city confuse me as I always think from the past when I'm in DC, my past. Good friends remain which I am fortunate to have. How have I known someone for over 15 years and still remain close?

Then I went to New Jersey again and spent money, the first time since I returned from Europe. With the money I have receieved for this trip to Arizona, I am now even for that trip.

With my monetary spending, I have to keep that in mind: faith. Gary taught me that term a few days ago in regards to some anxiety I had. I have faith in my next adventure. Always pushing forward, never regressing.

But screw Delta, seriously. I am writing as we take off from Atlanta, my short delayed layover. So much bustling around, southern accents and nothing helpful.

I find it harder to travel within the US, but I still am spirited along the way. More companions will emerge and I will go where I've always wanted.

Explorer

It's not really a travel bug; it's exploration. I'm never supposed to find what I'm looking for; just keep glancing around. I am now traveling to places I have been before: relaxing, visiting friends and family.

I used to be addicted to lemonade or perhaps I just drink too much and get overjoyed when I find some, and biking gives me a similar rush. But exploring has always been a passion of mine, curiously wondering and wandering about. I like to wander, collect my thoughts, walk aimlessly; it's a real joy.

Talking so much about CouchSurfing since I returned to the States has made me more than realize many aspects of that life that I just cannot live without. What if I fell back into a rut and needed to be pulled out? What if I was in mourning and could not escape? Well, honestly I know I would get out of it. I have every tool in the world to find my way, a simple path can guide the blindest.

I have used my problem-solving skills (read: good luck/wits) to get a free trip to Arizona. I could go on like this. "I am here for all your travel needs." I will get us all out of a bind and go wherever I am needed.

Right now I am with Laura, David and his girlfriend Tori. We made fun of David last night for being my bad first kiss and calling me so much that I had to "break up" our two-week "relationship" that he so fervently titled. Then one week later, or an illogical 14-year old girl's sense of respectable time, he started dating an ex-best friend of ours (Laura and me) named Sabrina. Many hilarious backstabbing high school friendships later (even though none of us went to the same school) we can all be friends again. Plus, Tori is fantastic. She is a sweet girl and extremely intelligent. We have similar skin tones and we both bruise easily. She has never been to the beach before and we're trying to show the best we can of beach time.

The water was great yesterday, not too freezing, then I layed on the sand and got a minimal tan. I'm having a good time, feeling at peace.

Airport Ramblings

I almost don't want to write this out but I am at the airport right now. I am flying out, feeling anxious and will be surprising most of you. I regret nothing, ever. I had some things to consider and I know I've made the right decision.

I am starting over, showing my support and maturity in all matters. I could not have done it without how this trip has made me over in some circumstances. I have cut corners where I never thought possible, taken huge chances, relied on luck and strong wits and in no way have I failed anything I set out to do.

Always explaining my trip, Europeans say to me, this journey thing, so American, you'd never hear of this originating from anywhere else. We are the world, we want to travel. There is no place that I have not said to myself, 'I really want to go there'. What gratifying honor did that BA give us? Yes, I asked myself this for almost two months and wanted an answer, knowing I would not get anything concrete. I wouldn't even know what to do with a concrete answer.

Instead, I found a reason to talk to strangers, tell stories, involve myself in someone else's life for a short while. I spent a really great month with Connie and Aurora, they have been wonderful friends to me. "Sharing is caring," Connie says as Aurora is hungry for another avocado. I got to see Luke, my long lost pal of awkward silences and I enjoyed our walks and talks as an odd couple (next generation?). Antwerp welcomed us three girls and we long to return for new years, plus we got hooked on that music and I on Gui Boratto. And of course the last stop in Edinburgh (Ed-in-bra, haha Vivek) made me feel the most welcome, the most included, the most at home. Great conversations with Graham, Vivek's unbelievable help, Dan's randomness, and Marie being the sweetheart that she is, plus the countless people I met an enjoyed at the BBQ (Chris and I finally meeting someone who spoke the same language!) and couches surrounding (James, you are missed).

Even Dublin helped me out without even knowing it. I will be there someday. The real question is, where won't I be someday?